It is nothing but a facility created for older people. Provides residential services and 24/7 care with specialized personnel. Homes are divided into elderly people, chronically and mentally ill people, people with intellectual disabilities (we are also talking about young people).
Where did the idea come from?
The search for a retirement home is a difficult experience. It is not easy for us to inform a loved one about such a possibility. We are constantly accompanied by doubts and remorse. Sometimes it happens that an elderly person makes such a decision himself, being in a weak physical and mental condition. He is driven by the will to help the family in everyday help. Sometimes also around the clock. The elderly man is happy with this decision, and loved ones are faced with a fait accompli.
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It often happens that a person referred to such a facility is no longer able to function alone and we cannot afford 24-hour care. We have our own families and jobs. This care is then even impossible. Sometimes this choice is an idea of both parties. Older people feel lonely and need more and more care. Then, together with their relatives, they choose such a solution.This is an important and difficult decision for both sides. However, sometimes it is the only way out, paying attention to the current state of the senior and events related to the impotence.
How to convince a loved one?
We only persuade a loved one to make this decision when we are in a state of powerlessness. We can’t cope, we don’t have enough time. There are many stereotypes about the retirement home. However, this is a thing of the past, because these establishments already have the highest standards and are supplied with the highest quality products. When deciding to give a loved one to a retirement home, we must start the topic. It is about gently conveying all your doubts and about describing your helplessness, hoping for understanding.
This idea may be perceived negatively. Nobody wants to leave their family to live in a strange place, with strangers. We can help a loved one go through this by supporting them and being with them step by step in the decision-making process. It is worth creating conditions for a conversation that will give the senior a sense of influence on their situation.When doubts arise in us and we feel guilty, it is necessary to realize that we will not provide 100% care during illness. We are not specialized in this direction. Sometimes seconds count, and in a retirement home the staff is prepared for the worst when called upon.
How to allay fears?
Not only a close person has concerns. We also have them, but we cannot let the senior feel them with us. Trying to convince him that it is the best solution for him will not help here either. It is about talking and listening. Sometimes these are long conversations about the current situation. All the pros and cons. Reminder of unpleasant events that happened at home, and the lack of professional care and equipment. Then the elders themselves conclude that this is a good solution. Security and stability are also important to them. The fear of the unknown will then disappear, and it will be replaced by peace and adaptation to the new situation. We need to assure a person close to us that we will visit them constantly. They need it.
Fear of rejection
Often, seniors who are forced to live in a retirement home say that the family is getting rid of them in order to have peace. They are convinced of it. Bitterness and grief create a barrier in them that the rest of the seniors cannot break through. They set an insurmountable limit for others. It makes them lonely. They need the reassurance of their relatives in the form of frequent visits. Especially in the first days of your stay. You can’t give them a feeling of rejection. The best method is the small steps method. We introduce this person gradually and accompany them throughout the entire stage of admission. By making a loved one feel that we are with them in this important event, they become calmer and take on a new environment and a new situation.
Criterion when choosing an institution
An important element when choosing is for us that it is close to our place of residence. Permanent contact with the closest possible commuting is important for us and for our relatives.
The price is an important criterion and it depends on whether the facility is public or private. The next important element for us are the conditions. We know our senior, so checking the standards for him will be important. We can choose a facility individually tailored to his needs. It is worth checking if a given facility has 24/7 care and specialized staff. Some physically and mentally need special care. As a result, we will feel calmer about the fate of our loved ones. Seniors often need privacy, a sense of community, a flexible daily rhythm and the ability to develop warm relationships with others. They often have hobbies. Therefore, it is worth checking whether they will be able to continue them in a given center. They shouldn’t be forced into activities they don’t like or want to do.
